I get to be a stay-at-home mommy!

Why I quit school…

I still can’t believe it. I get to stop school and not work. Seriously, it doesn’t even seem really real!

I started this journey of going back to school to be a nurse January of 2010 and I never imagined then, that a year later I would be quitting school.

I went back to school so that I could one day work with women who were going through what I went through when I had Jacob. Giving birth to a baby at 30 weeks and going home from the hospital without him was a life-changing experience. I learned and grew so much during that time. You only know what that feels like when you go through it.

When Adam and I first got married, we decided that we wanted the lifestyle that me working part-time would afford. Nursing seemed like the perfect fit—it combined ministering and providing for my family.

The first semester went well. Then there was summer school and that was crazy. 4 days a week—long, long days and I was pregnant. Since Parker came 5 weeks early, I was unable to finish my last two classes. This January, I started those classes again.

The way that the nursing program works is that it is a very competitive program and they only have room for about 1/3 of the applicants. Since I didn’t get to finish my summer classes, it meant that I couldn’t get into nursing school until August 2012 and then would have 2.5 years before I was done. Wow!

In the meantime, Adam started a new work journey. When I first started back to school, he started looking for a Saturday job. As a physical therapist, it is easy for him to pick up extra work on the weekends or after work. He found a Saturday job at a nursing home and started working two Saturdays a month and then three Saturdays a month. We were making it work and that money was helping to make up for the money that we used to make when I worked.

He then got switched to a place on the East side of towns for his Saturday gigs. The drive got to be taxing and he started thinking about finding another Saturday job at a different place that was closer. He got a postcard in the mail from Sunbelt, a sub-acute place connected to Florida Hospital that was 10min from our house. He had done a clinical there when he was in PT school and decided to go in and see if they would hire him for Saturdays.

Only in a way that God could work out, the same lady that he worked for during his clinicals when he was in school was still there. He obviously impressed her then and now she was looking for a full-time PT. She pushed hard to get him to come work for her. After a lot of thinking and praying, he said he was interested. We knew there would be a pay increase, but we wanted to put that aside and make sure he would be happy in a different work environment. He decided that since he would no longer be managing and would be able to just focus on treating patience that the change of scenery and patient type would be nice. We went back and forth with offers and counter offers and after Christmas, he accepted the job.

I started wondering if I really was supposed to do this, go back to school and become a nurse. Yes, I want to minister to moms, but I could do that by volunteering, I didn’t have to be a nurse to do that. Financially, it seemed we were doing fine without my income.

I was nervous to even suggest such a crazy idea (going back to school was crazy enough), but I brought up my thoughts and feelings to Adam. Did we really feel that I should be a nurse? Did I really need to work? We really want Adam to have his own clinic one day and I would absolutely be working there, so how long would I really be a practicing nurse before I stopped that to work with Adam?

I would do anything to provide for my family. I want to contribute and take care of them, but if my income isn’t needed, then why go through 3.5 years of no work and school? I wanted to honor my husband and all of the sacrifices that he had made and how he had worked for me to be able to do this crazy thing.

Again, in a way that only God can orchestrate, my husband had had the same thoughts rolling around in his head. Financially we were doing fine without my income. God had blessed him with an amazing new job, he no longer had to work Saturdays and at the end of each month, every bill was paid.

We talked and talked. I’m not one that quits things. I desire to be a person of character, integrity, dependable. I want to do what I set out to do no matter what. I want to be consistent. And what about nursing fulfilling my desire to minister to moms who went through what I went through? Adam and I talked and he helped me see that I choose nursing under the premise of me having to work. If I didn’t need to work, I could accomplish that another way.

We talked and talked and weighed the pros and cons. The more we talked, the more it didn’t make sense for me to continue with nursing school (and if I wasn’t going to nursing school, then why finish this semester?). Adam called our pastor to run everything past him and get his wisdom (and make sure we hadn’t fallen off our rocker). He agreed with our thinking.

I wasn’t sure if what was happening was really happening. Were we really talking about me not only quitting school, but being a stay-at-home mommy? By the time we had the last conversation, I couldn’t keep the smile off of my face. Then Adam said the words “do you want to be a stay-at-home mom?” Yes, yes, yes! “Ok.”

That was that. I’m done with school. I’m done with work (until God opens the doors for Adam to have his own place, but that is different). I get to stay home with my boys. I get to be free to have more time for my family, for youth, for worship, for ministry. I still can’t get the smile off of my face.

God provided for us financially more than we ever imagined would be possible. We never doubted His provision, but we never guessed He would provide a way for me to not work.

Of course this was a desire of my heart, but I had pushed it down so much, never thinking that it would ever happen, that when asked by a friend a few months ago if I would ever stay at home, I quickly answered “no”. Never in my wildest dreams did I think that this would be happening, let alone happening now.

God is so good. He truly knows what will make us happy. He truly knows the deep desires of our heart. This week, He has “gone out of His way” to show me that He not only sees me, but loves me and cares for me. Amazing!

I’m still in shock. I get to stay home with my boys! God is so good, all of the time!!! I’m giddy!